The Test

I’m waiting for the fridge to defrost

Watching the painted walls dry

Waiting for a brace of SS20’s

To arch against the leaden sky

Waiting for the leaves to fall

Dusted with a sulphurous pall

I’m waiting for the man to call

With his deadly clipboard

“Women are rubbery he says”

Wary of his wayward ways

I exclaim

” It is not so, the delicate

Tender flesh hangs loose

Like an evening gown

On a wire noose”

“Bugger it ” he says

“But they’ve got bum holes”

“Has your wife got a bum hole” ?

“yes I think she has I exclaim”

“we’ll have to take that into account

When we process your claim”.